The Return 0f a Prodigal Son
When I returned home, mother once again fellowshiped the word of God to me. I took the book that was in mother’s hands and read God’s words: “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to perform your duty. You assume your role in the plan of God and in the ordination of God. You begin the journey of life. Whatever your background and whatever the journey ahead of you, none can escape the orchestration and arrangement that Heaven has in store, and none are in control of their destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “You and the evil one walk through thousands of years of tempest and storm. Together with him, you counter God, who was the source of your life. You do not repent, let alone know that you have come to the point of perishment. You forget that the evil one has tempted you, afflicted you; you forget your origin. Just like that, the evil one has been damaging you step by step, even to now. Your heart and your spirit are desensitized and decayed. You no longer complain about the distress of the world, no longer believe the world is unjust. You don’t even care about the existence of the Almighty. This is because you have deemed the evil one as your true father, and you no longer can be apart from him. This is the secret in your heart” (“The Sighing of the Almighty” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
After reading God’s words, I understood. God is the Creator and Ruler of the heavens and earth and all things, and even more so He is the source of life for mankind. Everyone’s fate is ruled over and controlled by the hands of God. But I did not truly, and I did not have true knowledge of God’s sovereignty. I still relied on the seed of Satan planted deep within me to live, telling me that “You control your fate in your own hands.” I still attempted in vain to rely on myself and wander the world looking for a piece of heaven, throwing off God’s sovereignty and arrangements. I thought back on the past decade, how in order to change my fate I had studied hard and struggled to make money. Later on, after getting into a car accident, God protected me and helped me escape from calamity, allowing my body to miraculously recover quickly. But I still had not come to see in spite of mother’s attempts to convince me. I did not receive the gospel and come before God, rather I relied on ambition and desire to make my plans, to figure out what road my life was going to take in the future. Then once again I placed happiness in my own life onto a marriage. I thought I had found someone to marry who could stay committed to me and love me for a lifetime, and that I would certainly be happy, but in the end a failed marriage brought me endless suffering. … I held on to the words that “You control your fate in your own hands,” believing that through relying on my own hard work I could change my fate, and that eventually there would be a day where I would certainly become successful. But after so many years, after being scarred and bruised, after crushing defeats, besides pain and suffering there was nothing else that I had obtained. Only by looking back on how I relied on the poison of Satan to live, how this was in competition with my fate, did I see that I did not recognize God’s authority, that by relying on my own capabilities I was throwing off God’s sovereignty. It really was so stupid and foolish! Although I distanced myself from God and refused to listen to the , God still forgave me and endured me, and waited quietly for me, and created my surroundings in order to awaken my heart and my soul. Through mother spreading the gospel to me once again I was brought back before God. In this moment I have endless regrets, but I am full of gratitude and debt in my heart toward God, and I cannot stop the tears from falling down my face.
Returning before God and enjoying being watered by the word of God healed my wounded spirit bit by bit. Later on, a neighboring sister found out about my divorce and wanted to introduce me to a partner. This time I actively sought out mother’s opinion. Mother did not make the decision for me, rather she had me to seek out God’s will. I came before God to pray, delivering the matter of my marriage into God’s hands. After praying, I felt very much at peace in my heart, and it made me recall a passage from the word of God: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite always rushing and busying about for himself, man remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a creature? … The destination of man is in the hands of the Creator, so how could man control himself?” (“Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). It’s true. My fate is controlled by the hands of God. Whatever kind of marriage I am to have is dictated and arranged by God. I cannot make the choice on my own, like I did in the past, based on my own demands and standards. Whatever life I am to live in the latter part of my life, whatever kind of husband I am able to find, I believe that this is all predestined and arranged by God. What I need to do now is seek God’s will, follow God’s leadership, and submit to God’s sovereignty.
The day that we met I saw that the man was not very tall, nor was he very good at talking. Based on my previous standards for choosing a spouse, I certainly would have looked for a partner who could talk really well, or who was tall and handsome, but this time I didn’t make such a hasty refusal. Instead, I agreed to us getting to know each other for a while first. In the days that followed I discovered that although he was not charming or romantic, he was honest and considerate toward others, steadfast in his duties, and, most importantly, he supported my faith in God. I felt that he must be the husband that God arranged for me. After getting to know each other for a while we got married. After getting married, my husband’s family was very good to me, and they all supported my faith in God. When brothers and sisters come gather in our home, they all cordially greet our guests. I feel very happy, and my heart feels very content. In my heart I am grateful for God’s grace and blessings. God says: “When you truly come to recognize that God has sovereignty over human fate, when you truly understand that everything God has planned for and decided for you is a great benefit, and is a great protection, then you feel your pain gradually lighten, and the whole of you become relaxed, free, liberated” (“God Himself, the Unique III” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
God’s words made me recognize that God alone understands everything that each person needs. He observes all of our plights, and He alone has sovereignty over us and arranges everything for us in the best possible way. Nowadays I have attained God’s salvation and come before Him. I enjoy being watered and supplied by the word of God, and through my experiences in work, family and marriage, I have been able to resolve the satanic rule that dwelt within me and told me that “You control your fate in your own hands.” I’ve come to recognize that these are satanic words that deceive and corrupt men, tricking them into distancing themselves from God. At the same time, I have also come to a clear understanding that the human race was created by God, that our whole lives are ruled over and administered by God, and that nobody can break away from this, nor can they control this. We attempt in vain to rely on ourselves to change our fate, only to become beaten and bruised. This is a manifestation of the authority of the Creator. God has rescued me from being under the domain of Satan. I have returned before God, God has led me to understand the truth, and I am finally walking down the true and correct path of human life. Through the things that I have experienced, I have truly come to realize that all wealth and rank and all material things in this world are empty, that you can only rely on the word of God to live. Only then will your heart be steady and at peace. This is the greatest love and blessing that God has given me. As I continue on my journey, I am moved by only one thing: Ignorant men who resist God live with the most suffering, and only wise men who submit to God’s sovereignty are liberated and happy!